Monday, April 26, 2010
Hardest Decision Made
Anyone has tried to make the hardest decision in life??? Anything that includes career, love, family etc.......
How will you feel when you have finally make the decision regardless whether is right or wrong, sad? satisfied? happy? moody or disappointed??? I have that mixed feelings right now, maybe to other ppl, the decision that I am going to make may seem to be heartless but to me, is a key to total freedom. No more naggings, no more hot tempers, no more black face and EMOS!!!
Selling and buying flat has seem to be part of my life, I knew from start that this choice of mine is wrong, but for the sake of somone, I has to make that silly decision at that time and it turns out that I am absolutely an IDIOT!!!
What is filial piety??? Meaning to respect elders no matter what happen even though the elder is wrong and you have to face the fact........NO WAY!!! Wrong means wrong, no way I am going to give in any longer, it is really to my limit liao................everyone is telling me to cool down, relax, but once you are in my shoes, no matter how good temper you are, the situation will definitely make you sink to the bottom.
So 3 years from now, I am going another way and from that time onwards, in my dictionary, there are only few namelist that I will be bothered and I can only say I AM SORRY if you are not in my list.................And u jolly know who you are.................
Bye, kinship, bye family, bye sadnes and welcome HAPPINESS!!!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Happy and Unhappy Moments In A Day
What u all are seeing above is 2 great gifts from my beloved sis....happy that she is back from KL(at last) although not long........cos we are one family..............small gifts but is the thought that count right???
Headache is with me now as I am posting my blog....definition of family, anyone??? To give, to take, to accomodate and to LOVE!!! Well, I may be self centered at times when I dont realise it but I am always ready to change and be a better me. However, I somehow think that the new me now is willingly to give in more and to be more low profile.....Why? This is a word that is lingering in my mind right now......I have 2 great sis, loving husband, 3 great kids.....but where did my great mum go??? Everyone has been stopping me to stay with her cos of her "NICE" temper but I go ahead. I love her and she is the only parent that I have now so I want to treasure her the most. Sad to say, we gave her the road to wealth and fortune but maybe she did not reciprocate at all.
Ppl may say that I am sensitive and too paranoid but from these few months which I have been trying to accomodate her cos I know she is working hard and doing our laundry(which she volunteer cos she dont want us to mess up her routine), but it is like making things worse!!! Having not talk to us when she is at home and the only thing we do is stay out of reach from her, maybe she does not want to see us at all....but what i realise is not only the case.....when we are out, she is pretending to be so friendly to us out of the sudden............OH MY GOD!!! What happen??? U all can say that "Hey!!! She is ur MUM", dont pass these kind of bad remarks , but what I am stating here is totally TRUE!!! I am telling everyone SHE IS MY MUM, biological MUM....why must she always sound so hostile and behaving like I wanted to extort MONEY from her......I can tell the whole world, I AM NOT and I AM NOT HARD UP AT ALL!!!
Fancy ignoring my hubby since we moved in is not what an adult should do....the way she speak and the way she behave is simply drifting us apart.........why like this??? I can tell her off but what is the point??? I dont know how long I can tolerate and I also dont wish to put my sis in the sandwich.............being treated like that to me is totally painful and sad.................What is she thinking and what have I done to offend her???
I REALLY DONT KNOW AND I DONT WANT TO KNOW!!!
MY SUNDAY IS TOTALLY RUINED BY HER AND THATS MY MUM!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
As I was sitting on my work station and doing nothing....what I could think of now is to BLOG!!! Christmas & New Year had past, now Lunar New Year is almost coming to an end, I cannot deny that I am still in rest and relax mood.Somtimes I am wondering has my recent jobs made me more and more lazy and less initiative........I myself thought so,however, I am happy that finally, I am in the road of studying and heading to my own goals........back to work.....Boss is BACK!!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
First post of the year and is going to be something super bad and irritating.........Can someone really tell me why are MAN in this world crazy and mad???
I all along thought couples are supposed to give and take......but who knows, because of 5 mins, a couple can break up into a big and long argument............why is that so???
Could it be that this couple no longer love each other or there is nothing to do everyday at home already???
Maybe one day this wife will definitely be forced to stay into IMH.........who knows???
Sunday, November 15, 2009
At this moment :
I dislikethe life I have.............................
I dislike the way I behave..................
I dislike the way I talked......................
I dislike the look I have.........................
Is totally sickening to think, to talk, to imagine and to live.......................
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I had a good dream yesterday.......dreaming that I gave the 2 stupid humans a big big lecture and I waked up so satisfying.............
Imagine, I can only do what I do not dare not do in my dream ............trying to show my black face, trying to Fxxx the man and woman upside down.........trying to take control of the whole situation..........why ? why? why? Why cant I do this in realistic life?
I found myself smiling and very calmed down in front of the evil man and woman knowing that they did not want to keep their promise............I know that I should not be cursing and swearing but I feel that I am such a hypocrite.........
Anger did not overcome me and I managed to savage the situation though......However, I was wondering, if I were to show my unhappiness just like my mum and my dear dear, what will happen at that time??? I dont know and I cannot imagine too.....till now, I still cannot forget the thought that the 2 of them really made the hell out of me......fancy seeing their face as though they are also in a difficult situation which makes me wan to puke...........luckily, I had not had my breakfast yesterday.....hey u 2 listen here, dont think you are doing us a favor, you are just a bunch of IDIOTS that dont stick to your promise, so dont act like you are right................and DONT LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER THE TRANSACTION.............
Saturday, August 15, 2009
These 3 weeks had been a torment to me.......I cannot imagine the ups and downs of emotions that I had went through.
Imagine your loved one suffered and change from a man to a child within few days.
I had to adapt to the change in a click of time and still trying to get used to it now.
In the beginning I would asked myself, why must this happen to me? Why must god torture me like that? I wanted my normal man back but I cannot really find any answers to them?
Having slept for a few hours for a few days and eaten just a little has been a rountine to me.
No matter what, I have to thank all people out there who had shown encouragement and support to me , I have promise u all to be strong and know that u all are always here for me.
The only thing I can tell myself now is to be extremely strong and I truly believe that my man will come back to me and life will be normal again..........
